I saw an interesting post on Facebook the other day. It said, “You don’t have a Valentine to celebrate V-day with? Remember, many don’t have a Mother for Mother’s-Day or a Father for Father’s-Day…so shut up.”
A bit rude, but it made me think about the undue pressure that is put on singles and couples alike on this Hallmark holiday. And while mother’s day and father’s day are also Hallmark holidays, I believe the message above was to get over your self-pity of not having a date and focus on something more meaningful.
We all logically know that there is more to showing love for someone (or ourselves), than a card or box of chocolates. So, why do we allow ourselves to be pushed around by this marketing scheme? I recently bought v-day gifts for both my husband and daughter. We have decided to make it a family celebration and have a nice dinner out for the 3 of us….but why? We just had Christmas gifts galore, do we need more? No!
As I continue to think about this, I ask, “do I know my husband loves me?”… “Would I feel slighted if he didn’t do something for V-day?” You betcha…on both counts!! I don’t expect diamonds, but “nothing”, would indeed hurt my feelings. If I know he loves me, why would that be? If I were single, would I feel a sense of sadness about not having a valentine in my life? Sure I would.
It’s all comes down to comparison. We see others doing something sweet and romantic (and it may not be anyone we know…just commercials, movies etc). Then we want what everyone else has….whether we really want it or not! The ego requires us to compare and judge…we want what the Jones’ have, right?
Once we start to realize this, we can start to see how marketing is geared to make us do something that we don’t even believe is necessary. Unfortunately, it doesn’t just affect how we spend our money, but if affects our whole sense of self worth!
If you feel like giving a valentine gift, give it. If you receive one, be grateful for it. But know that this made-up holiday doesn’t define you, your worth or the worth of your relationships. Don’t give Hallmark that kind of power over you!
Tracy Martorana is a Nutrition & Wellness Consultant, Meditation Instructor and Herbalist...hoping to inspire you to live your life from a place of Holistic Wellness.